Reflections on Leadership

As we come to a conclusion in this Leadership Communications course I reflect on what it means to be an effective leader. Denning describes several dimensions of "a different kind of leader" and we have spent nine weeks discovering the power of narrative in preparation of taking leadership to a whole new level. The lessons learned have given us new tools for our toolbox. Moving forward with this new found knowledge I feel confident as well as excited for my future as a leader.

Taking a closer look at Denning's dimensions of leadership we can clearly determine what it is going to take to be a unique and effective leader. He talks about allowing the world to work for you rather than against you (p.270). His comparison of the traditional leader to a boxer trying knock the world out with superior hitting power reminds me of the words of LtCol Jimmy Doolittle during the WWII air assault on Japan who said, "Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor was blow to America. This mission will be a pin prick to Japan... but it will be right through their heart". Surgical leadership is far more effective than massive attempts at making change. Using what we have before us to lead effectively is more efficient than cramming a round peg in a square hole. In my future story I choose to be a surgical leader. I will look for ways to use what is in front of me to find solutions to problems, work in harmony with the world offers me, and turn obstacles into opportunities. I will be what Denning describes as a Ninja Leader channeling my energy in positive directions.

Another dimension of leadership is building off integrity and authenticity. Our driving force should always be directing us towards doing what is right and real. Making decisions is a tough job sometimes, and standing on a solid foundation of integrity allows us to make tough choices with confidence. Denning writes, "Because you speak the truth, you are believed" (p.270). People will follow honesty and integrity. By making my values known and following through on my values will remove doubts of my intentions as a leader. We move forward as a team, not individuals. We need to know our leaders have the best intentions, integrity, and moral values. Without these core elements it will be very likely that any progress will have to be revisited and fixed somewhere down the road. I choose integrity and honesty. These core values make me a better person, and if I am to make better people around me through leadership it is paramount to have a command of this dimension.

Leadership can happen anywhere by anyone at any time. Denning's dimension of leadership that describes this phenomenon states "interactive leadership doesn't depend on the possession of hierarchical authority" (p. 271). In other words, leadership transcends common barriers and set parameters. It can flourish in any environment under any circumstances. Through self improvement and continuous education we can better prepare ourselves to lead whenever the opportunity arises. Often it is our personal moral compass that establishes the direction people want to follow. The better we are the better we will lead. Deon Sanders, one of the greatest defensive players ever in the NFL, said it best, "a play does not care who makes it... it only wants to be made". We may never know when our skills and abilities as leaders will be most needed, but being prepared to make that play when the opportunity presents itself is the key to being a strong leader.

I have learned so much from this course and authors like Denning. The most important aspect I can take away from this class is that these resources have got to be revisited over and over again. The sacred and feared samurai sword does not become razor sharp with a few strokes from a flint rock. It takes constant pressure and repetition to be sharp. Looking ahead to my future I feel empowered with a wealth of knowledge, sources of knowledge, and an understanding of how to be a better person and leader. I am excited to see what is next.

JP

Denning, S. (2011). The leader's guide to storytelling. San Francisco; Jossey-Bass.

 

Making Contact

We Texans are unique in several ways. One of these is the ability to have never met a stranger. We can talk to anyone (usually). Striking up a conversation with someone we have never met seems to be second nature for a true Texan. Now, obviously, this a gross generalization seeing as how there are millions of Texans and not all are privy to this canny ability, but for the most part, most of us can "chat it up" with almost anyone.

Personally, I have never really had an issue meeting new people. My curiosity outshines any shyness embedded in me, and a genuine desire to spark up a conversation is all I have ever needed to meet someone new. You never know who you might meet. If my attempts to "chat it up" are not met with its anticipated response it is probably for the better. McKay, Davis, and Fanning explain this plainly by saying "a refusal or your interest is a lost opportunity, nothing more or less" (p.207).

The trick (for lack of a better word) in getting to know someone new is to ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. So, the best way to find out about somebody is get them talking. It is amazing how much you can learn about someone once they start rambling on about their interests. Also, it is important to be a good listener. Not just in the sense of hearing, but making them feel as if they are heard. Leaning in and making eye contact are easy ways to engage. But, it has to be genuine. Body language often speaks louder than words. Our text for this week outlines several key elements to effective body language and transmitting interest in what another person is saying: lean in; be open, don't close yourself off with crossed arms or legs; make eye contact; smile; and physically touching them (p. 210). Now, in my experience, smiling and being open are great tools to use. However, touching other people must be used with caution. I prefer the two handed-hand shake, or a hand shake and touch on the shoulder. Small gestures can build a connection, but being obtrusive can do the opposite.

Honestly, I enjoy making people smile. We could all use a little extra smiling in our lives. Scientifically, smiling helps to release endorphins that trigger the "good feelings". If I like something about someone I will tell them. They should know, and maybe they needed that little reassurance. Who knows? My kindergarten teacher taught us it takes five warm fuzzies for every cold prickly. We might as well dish out some warm fuzzies. We may never know if there is a cold prickly abundance that needs some balancing out.

Our text defines conversation as, "the art of combining questions, active listening, and self disclosure in such a way that people keep talking and enjoy it" (p. 217). I define conversation as a natural element in being a social creature. AT&T made millions off their advertising slogan "reach out and touch someone". We can always benefit from meeting new people and learning new things from them. Sometimes it just takes a little push to step out from our comfort zone and touch someone. You never know what you might get.

JP

McKay, M. Davis, M., Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: the communication skills book. Oakland, New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Ch. 14

Knoweldge Sharing Story

As we humans develop our world around us it is important to pass on the knowledge we acquire. An effective way to share knowledge and experience with another is through narrative. Our stories can pave the road for others to travel and save them a few bumps and bruises along the way. My mother once told me there are two ways to learn life-lessons... from your own mistakes and through the mistakes of others. One of these is less painful than the other. I wish I would have paid more attention to her words as a young man because no words of wisdom have been more true.

I am in a unique position in the Navy. Entering my service at the age of 31 offered me a different set of lenses to view the world of naval service, or the military in general. The average Sailor is between ages 18 and 22, and for most of them this is the first real life experience they have had. Responsibilities are now thrust upon them and the pressures of these responsibilities can be high. More than once I have shared my knowledge story of dealing with unexpected challenges, focusing on what we can control, and keeping your head when others are losing theirs. All these stories have come from my own mistakes along my life's journey. Navy life is about perseverance. It is about making decisions, and making decisions is easier to do when you know what you can and can't control. Here is my story I have shared many times when the going gets rough.

The first time I was truly only own was around 2000 when I moved to California to open up an advertising office in Thousand Oaks. It was scary, and I was in uncharted territory. I was living in an apartment with 7 other guys from the office, working new and unfamiliar territory, and trying to grow a business with very different parameters than I was used to. Back in Texas I was a big fish in a small market, but in California I was a fish out of water. Nothing was going right. I was working 70-80 hour weeks to the point of exhaustion with not much to show for my efforts. I couldn't even think straight, and after about 8 months I had hit a wall. I was so consumed with trying to make this dream of mine work that I was completely buried in things out of my control. I could not control the clients I was given, the people I depended on to work long hours at entry level pay, the territory I managed. It was all so much to handle that I almost lost my mind. I was drowning in things that I had no control over.

One afternoon on a rare Sunday afternoon off I was sitting at a fish and chips shack in Port Hueneme. My distress was apparent and I caught the attention of a guy who had just come in from surfing to get a bite to eat. He noticed my Texas shirt and asked where I was from. I told him and we sparked up a nice conversation. He asked me what I was doing out here and I took that opportunity to vomit my entire dilemma on him, and he listened. His following words to me changed my entire life and gave me a new (and much needed) perspective on my situation. He said to me, "dude, you are wasting so much energy fighting thing you can't control. Just let go and focus on what you can." Surfers have a unique way to view the world. Life is a series of swells that come and go. You don't get too high with the highs or low with the lows, and every day in the water is a good day. Take what is given you and don't worry about anything else.

In life we need to prioritize what we have control over. Our attitudes, our thoughts and feelings, our abilities. We can't waste time stressing over who said what and why. Life will go on around us and when I first shared this story it was with a Sailor stressing about being underway half-way around the world from his girlfriend (whom might have been cheating on him), the unreasonable requests from his LPO and Chief, money, and a slew of other things he had no control over. He had the same look on his face as I did sitting at that pier, and I shared some of my knowledge with him. We both left that smoke pit with a much better feeling toward our lives and a renewed focus on what we have under our control. We boiled down all the problems facing this young man and found the things he could manage. At the end of our little talk he looked like a ton of bricks had been lifted off his shoulders.

I feel very fortunate to be able to share some of my experiences with these younger Sailors. I have told many stories to offer insight, possible solutions, and advice. Passing on this little bit of knowledge has helped a few of them see things in a different light and in turn I feel like I have helped a shipmate muster up the courage inside them to move forward in a positive direction. Sharing knowledge through stories is an important part of who we are as humans. In the end it is still less painful to learn from someone else's trials and tribulations.

JP