As we humans develop our world around us it is important to pass on the knowledge we acquire. An effective way to share knowledge and experience with another is through narrative. Our stories can pave the road for others to travel and save them a few bumps and bruises along the way. My mother once told me there are two ways to learn life-lessons... from your own mistakes and through the mistakes of others. One of these is less painful than the other. I wish I would have paid more attention to her words as a young man because no words of wisdom have been more true.
I am in a unique position in the Navy. Entering my service at the age of 31 offered me a different set of lenses to view the world of naval service, or the military in general. The average Sailor is between ages 18 and 22, and for most of them this is the first real life experience they have had. Responsibilities are now thrust upon them and the pressures of these responsibilities can be high. More than once I have shared my knowledge story of dealing with unexpected challenges, focusing on what we can control, and keeping your head when others are losing theirs. All these stories have come from my own mistakes along my life's journey. Navy life is about perseverance. It is about making decisions, and making decisions is easier to do when you know what you can and can't control. Here is my story I have shared many times when the going gets rough.
The first time I was truly only own was around 2000 when I moved to California to open up an advertising office in Thousand Oaks. It was scary, and I was in uncharted territory. I was living in an apartment with 7 other guys from the office, working new and unfamiliar territory, and trying to grow a business with very different parameters than I was used to. Back in Texas I was a big fish in a small market, but in California I was a fish out of water. Nothing was going right. I was working 70-80 hour weeks to the point of exhaustion with not much to show for my efforts. I couldn't even think straight, and after about 8 months I had hit a wall. I was so consumed with trying to make this dream of mine work that I was completely buried in things out of my control. I could not control the clients I was given, the people I depended on to work long hours at entry level pay, the territory I managed. It was all so much to handle that I almost lost my mind. I was drowning in things that I had no control over.
One afternoon on a rare Sunday afternoon off I was sitting at a fish and chips shack in Port Hueneme. My distress was apparent and I caught the attention of a guy who had just come in from surfing to get a bite to eat. He noticed my Texas shirt and asked where I was from. I told him and we sparked up a nice conversation. He asked me what I was doing out here and I took that opportunity to vomit my entire dilemma on him, and he listened. His following words to me changed my entire life and gave me a new (and much needed) perspective on my situation. He said to me, "dude, you are wasting so much energy fighting thing you can't control. Just let go and focus on what you can." Surfers have a unique way to view the world. Life is a series of swells that come and go. You don't get too high with the highs or low with the lows, and every day in the water is a good day. Take what is given you and don't worry about anything else.
In life we need to prioritize what we have control over. Our attitudes, our thoughts and feelings, our abilities. We can't waste time stressing over who said what and why. Life will go on around us and when I first shared this story it was with a Sailor stressing about being underway half-way around the world from his girlfriend (whom might have been cheating on him), the unreasonable requests from his LPO and Chief, money, and a slew of other things he had no control over. He had the same look on his face as I did sitting at that pier, and I shared some of my knowledge with him. We both left that smoke pit with a much better feeling toward our lives and a renewed focus on what we have under our control. We boiled down all the problems facing this young man and found the things he could manage. At the end of our little talk he looked like a ton of bricks had been lifted off his shoulders.
I feel very fortunate to be able to share some of my experiences with these younger Sailors. I have told many stories to offer insight, possible solutions, and advice. Passing on this little bit of knowledge has helped a few of them see things in a different light and in turn I feel like I have helped a shipmate muster up the courage inside them to move forward in a positive direction. Sharing knowledge through stories is an important part of who we are as humans. In the end it is still less painful to learn from someone else's trials and tribulations.
JP
I am in a unique position in the Navy. Entering my service at the age of 31 offered me a different set of lenses to view the world of naval service, or the military in general. The average Sailor is between ages 18 and 22, and for most of them this is the first real life experience they have had. Responsibilities are now thrust upon them and the pressures of these responsibilities can be high. More than once I have shared my knowledge story of dealing with unexpected challenges, focusing on what we can control, and keeping your head when others are losing theirs. All these stories have come from my own mistakes along my life's journey. Navy life is about perseverance. It is about making decisions, and making decisions is easier to do when you know what you can and can't control. Here is my story I have shared many times when the going gets rough.
The first time I was truly only own was around 2000 when I moved to California to open up an advertising office in Thousand Oaks. It was scary, and I was in uncharted territory. I was living in an apartment with 7 other guys from the office, working new and unfamiliar territory, and trying to grow a business with very different parameters than I was used to. Back in Texas I was a big fish in a small market, but in California I was a fish out of water. Nothing was going right. I was working 70-80 hour weeks to the point of exhaustion with not much to show for my efforts. I couldn't even think straight, and after about 8 months I had hit a wall. I was so consumed with trying to make this dream of mine work that I was completely buried in things out of my control. I could not control the clients I was given, the people I depended on to work long hours at entry level pay, the territory I managed. It was all so much to handle that I almost lost my mind. I was drowning in things that I had no control over.
One afternoon on a rare Sunday afternoon off I was sitting at a fish and chips shack in Port Hueneme. My distress was apparent and I caught the attention of a guy who had just come in from surfing to get a bite to eat. He noticed my Texas shirt and asked where I was from. I told him and we sparked up a nice conversation. He asked me what I was doing out here and I took that opportunity to vomit my entire dilemma on him, and he listened. His following words to me changed my entire life and gave me a new (and much needed) perspective on my situation. He said to me, "dude, you are wasting so much energy fighting thing you can't control. Just let go and focus on what you can." Surfers have a unique way to view the world. Life is a series of swells that come and go. You don't get too high with the highs or low with the lows, and every day in the water is a good day. Take what is given you and don't worry about anything else.
In life we need to prioritize what we have control over. Our attitudes, our thoughts and feelings, our abilities. We can't waste time stressing over who said what and why. Life will go on around us and when I first shared this story it was with a Sailor stressing about being underway half-way around the world from his girlfriend (whom might have been cheating on him), the unreasonable requests from his LPO and Chief, money, and a slew of other things he had no control over. He had the same look on his face as I did sitting at that pier, and I shared some of my knowledge with him. We both left that smoke pit with a much better feeling toward our lives and a renewed focus on what we have under our control. We boiled down all the problems facing this young man and found the things he could manage. At the end of our little talk he looked like a ton of bricks had been lifted off his shoulders.
I feel very fortunate to be able to share some of my experiences with these younger Sailors. I have told many stories to offer insight, possible solutions, and advice. Passing on this little bit of knowledge has helped a few of them see things in a different light and in turn I feel like I have helped a shipmate muster up the courage inside them to move forward in a positive direction. Sharing knowledge through stories is an important part of who we are as humans. In the end it is still less painful to learn from someone else's trials and tribulations.
JP
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